Ok…so I really hate to travel. The funny thing is that I used to LOVE it. I loved the airport, the plane, the hotel. I looked forward to getting out of my routine, out of the same day-in, day-out monotony of a Monday through Sunday schedule. As I saw it, it was a chance to look at the world, my goals, my life from a different perspective. Even if I was traveling for work purposes, the experience brought to me a sense of ‘retreat’, renewal.
So what has changed? Honestly, the change is a simple one…family…kids.
Although the time away still brings with it an opportunity to reflect on my life, my goals, and the world, it no longer bears the sense of renewal it used to. In fact, quite the opposite. Becoming a father, at least for me, has in many ways reversed my perspective on many things. Before kids (I’ll call it ‘B.K.’) daily life was monotonous, dull, boring, draining. Work was simply work, meal times were a necessity, and meaning was something I had to search for.
After kids (or ‘A.K’) daily life is anything but monotonous, dull and boring. Every day brings with it a new opportunity to learn. Whether it is a new word, new letter, new number, a new way to get hurt or a new way to hurt your sister – there is always something new. I find perspective through the experiences of my kids. Work, though it takes time away from my family, also is a means of providing through finances new experiences for my kids (piano lessons, gymnastics, soccer, interesting vacations, etc). Meal times are not just a time to fill a growling, hungry pit in my stomach, but a time to gather as a family and share our day together, a time to gather and give thanks to God for the experiences the day has provided us, and a time to simply BE together.
This is why I now hate traveling away from family…meaning or lack thereof. The meaning I used to find in the change of perspective provided me through sleeping in a different bed provided by a hotel room, by the pursuit of a new and exciting cuisine forced upon me by the necessity of HAVING to eat out while on the road, or looking out of the airplane window from 30,000 feet at farmland, mountains and rivers, is no longer sufficient. It no longer feeds me.
Meaning is right in front of me every morning (usually much earlier that I’d like) when I am woken by the smiles of my two daughters.
Through this process of realization of where I find meaning (no longer in the new and different, but now in routine and familiar), I thought about church and worship. I am a guy who loves ‘new and exciting’ worship. I have always resonated with contemporary styles and sounds (and by contemporary I don’t mean the Lutheran definition, I mean the actual one). Although it is cliché, I was always reading and thinking about what was understood to be ‘Gen X’ or ‘post-modern’ styles of worship, church, and ministry. I could not understand the affinity for ‘traditional’ styles of worship and church. The monotony, dull, boring repetition of the same actions, the same words, the same songs was to me, well…meaningless.
I wonder if there are parallels. Is my experience of daily life somehow an illustration for these different styles of worship, church and ministry? Do people possibly find meaning in the weekly repetition of the same worship format, same worship songs, same worship actions week after week, year after year in the same way that I have found meaning in the Monday through Sunday schedule of family life?
I admit that I still am not a fan of traditional worship (Green Book, Blue Book, Red Book or whatever book). However, maybe more people like me, who want modern music modern video screens might have at least a better understanding of why people put up with ‘that other style’ of worship. They may not be attending that worship because of duty or because that is what they’ve always known, but maybe they have somehow found meaning in it…
What have I learned? Hmmm, along with traditional worship (Lutheran style), I also hate traveling without my family. It’s just one more thing to complain about…
